Sugar Free Coaching
#LivingSugarFree w/ speaker and author, Andréa Raquel. It's not a diet, it's a lifestyle.

By: Andréa Raquel | February 14, 2020

 

#AskingAutistics 


Have you been called rude before for simply being yourself, telling the truth, not properly managing your volume or some other random thing that have chosen to ridicule you for as though you were doing them with the same motivations and intentions of a or narcissistic individual, when actually you were totally blindsided by how offended they were at whatever you did or said wrong?

No worries. You are not alone. Guess what, it's also not totally your fault. Yes there are some things that folks do that rubs totally wrong, clearly otherwise it wouldn't be a diagnosis. However, you have to wonder at their constant inability to show you empathy for your "rudeness" if they are so much more , politically correct, or whatever the common phrase to use now.

A guest in my home actually said to me, out loud, while eating steak at my table, "you have the social skills of a 3rd grader." He thought it was funny. 

I've had a boyfriend try to bully me and physically assert himself over me claiming, "I'm just giving you what you give everyone else." That's why he remains an ex. 

I've had family members call me rude for talking , even though I was in another part of the house or washing dishes at the time. Even after apologizing they still are enraged the point of insults and ridicule. 

 

Were they all correct? Maybe. Do I have to think less of myself for their opinion? Nope, and here's why...

According to the dictionary, historically 'rude' is a term to insult those you consider beneath you. It is not as most people take it, an indication of wrong doing or disrespect, but rather a way of putting people down who are not as refined, educated, eloquent, , or flat out too out spoken. Yep, I'm saying it's a term of oppression, plain and simple.

Now the term 'mean' on the other hand has everything to do with intentions. So the person who is constantly pointing out how rude you are, whether you apologize or not, and whether they are annoyed by something that's innate to you are or not, is actually a bully and quite possibly a narcissist of the highest order. More than likely they are holding on to something and this is their chance to let you have it. 

The next time someone calls you rude. Don't apologize. Don't engage. Just walk away. The same way you would do with any other bully. There is no way you can explain or apologize enough for them. So save your energy, avoid a meltdown and the hours of recovery you will need after having a futile conversation with them. Their mind is made up and it has nothing to do with you. It's best to just avoid their attacks and criticism.

I don't know about you, but I'll take being innately rude over being mean or a narcissist all day. #integrity #ethics #selfcheck #DIYHeadExtraction 

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